#163 – Nerdy Retirement
Yesterday Alycia and I got to spend time with my grandpa and his wife. My grandma passed away 6 years ago and my grandpa’s new wife is amazing and completely age appropriate. At the end of September they are going on a 30-day cruise to Hawaii and Tahiti. Even though I’m only 29-years-old retirement sounds totally awesome. Here are some ways nerds would enjoy spending their retirement.
Star Trek Convention Groupie
In all my years of being a nerd I never once made it to a Star Trek Convention. I’ve been to plenty of video game conventions and trading card shows, but a Star Trek Convention has always been my nerdy white whale. Any retired nerd could buy himself an RV and travel all over the country to every Star Trek convention possible. He wouldn’t even have to limit himself to Star Trek conventions; any convention with a Star Trek panel would do. I can’t imagine a better way for a geriatric nerd to spend his retirement than chasing his Starfleet heroes from crowded convention center to crowded convention center. He could duct tape some warp nacelles to his RV and name it the Enterprise. It would all be worth it, though, to see Brent Spiner’s impersonation of Patrick Stewart.
My favorite video game ever is Final Fantasy VI. First playing it on the Super Nintendo, I was engrossed by its characters, stories and action. When reaching retirement, a focused nerd could spend his time playing every single Final Fantasy game back-to-back. Right now there are 12 main Final Fantasy games apart from all the spinoffs and online games. If the nerd didn’t retire for another 40 years, though, that number would probably double. At retirement there would be 25 Final Fantasy games to play through. If every game takes about 40 hours to complete, that’s 1,000 hours of gaming, over 40 full days’ worth of playtime. Any nerd looking to maximize their retirement wouldn’t want to take a break for anything, which is probably why adult diapers were created in the first place.
The Left Behind Series
People are crazy and think that Jesus is going to return this October. So if he hasn’t returned in another 40 years, people are going to be absolutely insane. What better way to deal with that insanity than to read the definitive writings on the return of Jesus? The Left Behind series chronicles the events following the rapture. Retired nerds hoping to get a head start on the rapture and tribulation could learn some valuable information from the Left Behind series. Instead of wasting time playing with their grandchildren or volunteering at church, the retired nerd could throw all of his energy into predicting and preparing for an unknowable event. And if there are still reruns of Murder She Wrote to watch in the background, it wouldn’t get any better.
I love my job but I can’t help thinking it would be nice not to work. Spending 30 days at sea with my wife, visiting exotic locations and eating whatever I wanted doesn’t sound that bad. Retirement, though, should be the celebration of hard work done for the glory of God. At this point I haven’t had to work that hard and hopefully God’s got some more glory coming his way because of my work. So until I’ve worked a little harder and longer, retirement will just have to wait.
Maybe the Star Trek convention won’t, though.
What other nerdy ways could you spend your retirement?